It Still Feels Weird

Its been a month since my rescue squad shut its doors. 

Its so weird not packing my bags every Thursday night and going into shift.  Since we closed the doors I havent been able to apply anywhere due to my new CPR card having been lost in the mail… twice.  Until I have it in my possession,  I cant apply anywhere because without it, my EMT license isnt technically valid.  (My former supervisor got in touch with me to tell me that he finally got ahold of it and is going to be kind enough to drop it off to me while im at work some time this week instead of risking it being lost for a 3rd time.)

Its just… sad.  Ive had time to get over the shock and anger of the whole situation and the actual closing down, but I still have my moments when I almost forget that its over and still think I have to go into shift.  I havent put away my old uniforms, and I still have my key to the station.   I remembered to give back the pager, but kept my old ID card because it was expiring this month anyways.  I got a fancy little plaque with my name on it, thanking me for my dedication.

I know my EMS career isn’t over (at least I hope not…) but like I said, that squad was my home.  I’ll never forget my time there.  All I can do in the meantime is keep up with my continued education hours and make sure I get my current CPR card from my old supervisor…

Ive mourned the “death” of my squad, and its time to move on and plant new roots somewhere else.  Even then, I’m sure it will still feel weird running on new ambulances with new people and wearing a different uniform. 

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