Waiting, Modern Day Romeos, Ex-boyfriends, Dead Cats, Tattoos, Confusion/Stress, and… Wait, where the f*ck was I going with this?

Okay, just a heads up that this post is completely random, and nothing I’m talking about really ties into the next subject… just got lots on my mind and I can’t seem to get it out any other way.  So, here… another random mind vomit blog for y’all to read.

I went to court on the 2nd for the 30-day notice on my grandpa’s house.  All I had to defend our case and ask for more time was a letter written by his doctor explaining how ill my grandpa is.  The asshole lawyer offered me an extra 30 days… the judge gave 90.  So, now instead of June, we have until August.  Currently I’m waiting on an answer for a house I applied for.  It’s a quaint little farmhouse with three bedrooms that sits on 53 acres of land, has all appliances  and rent is only $895/month.  I should have an answer tomorrow or Wednesday.  Fingers crossed***

Stress level has lifted a slight bit with the help of the extension from the judge, and a needed and well deserved girls-night-out with V*.  We opted, of course,  for the best choice during a boring weekend in our area… A Modern Day Romeos concert.  It was seriously the best MDR show I’ve been to so far.  There were a few new songs added to their usual playlist, and of course we forced our way to the front of the stage.  The highlight for me?  Seeing Jim (singer) step off stage while Chris (bassist) sang, and I went up to say ‘Hi’.  I was greeted with a tight, sweaty hug and a fat juicy kiss on the… cheek 😉  The rest of the night was spent enjoying the music, hot guys on stage, and enjoying my new favorite drink (one of which Chris took down in one suck after I offered from the floor while he was playing and he looked dehydrated {trying to be a good groupie!!!} ).  Oh, and taking a few shots and pictures with the guys after the show of course.

I was feeling pretty alright after the weekend.  I bought me and my family more time in our house, my application for a new house was sent in, and the MDR show/girls-night-out was a blast.  It rejuvenated me, even if only a small bit compared to the stresses I’ve been dealing with.  Then today at work, I got a pretty sad email.  My ex Andy sent me a message letting me know he had to put down his cat Sirius, a gift that I gave him from one of my cats litters a few years ago…  I was shocked.  I was sad, but Sirius belonged to Andy, and I could only imagine how bad he was feeling.

I wanted to call him, tell him I bad I felt…  I thought about it all day at work.  I wasn’t sure if hearing from me was something he needed right now.  Things didn’t end well with us, and I didn’t know if hearing from me would be a good thing.  I decided to call him.  He didn’t answer right away… but he answered.

I think we spent almost 2 hours on the phone.  Things shifted from his cat, to my house situation (he just went through the same thing after his dad passed away), to tattoos, to money stuffs…  I don’t know.  The conversation seemed to flow fine after the first 15 minutes or so.  It was weird… but at the same time it wasn’t weird at all.  Does that make sense?

I asked him if he minded me tagging along with him to one of his next tattoo sessions.  He wants a memorial tattoo for his cat, and I’m planning a tattoo of a Harry Potter quote and I’m extremely picky on who I will allow to put my first script tattoo on my skin.  His artist is awesome, for One…. and for two…  I really want to see Andy.  I don’t know what or why, but I can’t stop thinking about him, and its been that way for a long time.

Maybe I’m having selfish second thoughts about breaking up with him… maybe I genuinely miss him.  Either way, I’ll never really know unless I see him again, if I spend some time with him.  Even if it’s a tattoo session and we decide not to see each other again… or if it turns into us hanging out a little bit.  Who knows…  I sure as hell don’t.  I just know I’m confused as hell.

I know there are options out there for me.  But the only one I’m interested in, is nothing more than a groupie crush that would never turn into anything more than a few drinks at/after a show.  *le sigh*

God he's gorgeous

God he’s gorgeous.  lol

 I’m not interested in or want anything that is an actual possibility.  Its gross seeing how bad the stress in my life is really effecting me.  I’m not interested in a major relationship right now, and I’m not even interested in having “fun”…  you know, the adult kind that involves no clothes.  I’m really, really, REALLY hoping that if I can get my family into a house, that 80% of the stress in my life will go away and I can focus on feeling normal again.

Until then, I just care about a roof over my head and trying to escape (usually to an MDR show, or the firehouse) when things get too much.  If this house I applied for comes through, then things will be golden, and I can find a way to fix the rest or let it all fall where it will… until I get that call I’m still stuck over-thinking things…  Ugh.

Can I just go to another MDR show, get drunk, forget about stress?  Yes, yes I can… on the 17th… I may have to call out of work with a “personal day”…

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